My Reading Life – Being Real

I have been blogging for nearly nine years now. I didn’t intend for my blog to focus mostly on reading, but that is how it has turned out. I’m glad that is the direction it has gone because it has lead me to meet people that I would have never met otherwise. It has directed me to books I never would have read. It has lead me to a part-time job writing for The Gazette that I never thought I would be able to do. But, quite honestly, it has stressed me out more than a few times.

I love reading. I love the excitement of starting a new book or the panic that I am almost at the end of the book and I don’t want it to end. I relish in the thrill of a great a climax to the story, especially one I didn’t see coming. I love that a book can take me anywhere in the world and to any time-period. I love that I can learn something new just by reading a book.

But, honestly, I get frustrated with my reading life. So many people ask me, how do you find time to read? Well, the truth is, sometimes I don’t. I didn’t read a single page from any book a couple weeks ago. Sometimes it is much easier to play a game on my phone or to flip through a magazine than to read the book sitting in front of me.

I am wondering if I am in the phase right now of “burn-out”. I dislike that term. It was used a lot in my years working as a social worker. It was common for social workers to experience “burn-out” and take some much needed time off or to even leave the social work world. I experienced it myself after working with the homeless. I needed a change and found it in Hospice. Do I need a change now? No, not necessarily. But, I am feeling “burn-out” when I think about reading and writing a review.

I have been feeling extremely overwhelmed with the pile of books waiting to be read on my shelves and on my Kindle. Many are ones I purchased and want to read. Many others are ones that were sent to me with the hopes of having a fabulous review posted soon after the book was sent. Yet, others were gifts or loans, given to me by friends and family knowing that I would love this book and to please read it.

I have been trying to accept fewer books for review, but every time I say no….I feel guilty. I feel bad that I am turning down a book that I am sure I would like, but just can’t commit to reading and reviewing right now.

I feel anxious opening my emails knowing I have several requests for books as well as check-ins from authors and publishers wondering how I am enjoying a book they sent…when I haven’t even cracked the cover.

I’m in a reading slump right now. Life is crazy busy….I’m not excited about reading….which in turn makes me not want to read and I find other things to do instead.

But, a dear friend has moved back home which means our book club of 3 can start back up again. I will be reading for a fun reason. I’ve been thinking about my blog coming into 2017. Do I still want to blog and write reviews? Yes, so then I need to keep reading. Do I want to do things differently on the blog? Maybe. I have some ideas for new features, but can I be realistic about staying consistent? I’ve been running children’s book reviews pretty consistently on Fridays and I am excited about this new piece to my reviewing. I’m planning to continue to review the children’s books and have plenty to take me into the new year already. But, is there more I should/could be doing to promote books, authors, and reading in general? Maybe. I’m still thinking about it.

If you have ideas of what I could do here on the blog, in my reading life, or a new feature you would like to see, I would love to hear your thoughts. Reading isn’t always easy, even if it looks like it is. But, I still love reading and always will. I guess maybe I just wish some days it was more fun and like with anything else….I wish I had more time.

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